THE HOMESTUCK REVIEWTHE HOMESTUCK REVIEWLet me take you back in time. It is the Ninth of October, 2023. Local internet rando and british parasite "DuditheBudi" scrolls Twitter and sees an awful lot of Homestuck. This is not a normal thing. He doesn't follow Homestuck-related accounts! But their bickering details interesting events in the infamous comic's community. Something about a "Homestuck ^2?" 'What kinda title is that,' asks Shrek 2 DVD Donkey. 'They should've called it Homestuck ^2: The Donkey's Revenge, or Homestuck ^2: Day of the Donkey.' Donkey proceeds to get shot in the face with a double-barreled shotgun, and for the first time after a very long while, DuditheBudi thinks about Homestuck.
Now, this isn't Dudi's first rodeo in Homestuck-related content. About a year or two ago, Dudi knew a few people who were big fans of the Stuck. Dudi even played a session of "The Genesis Project" with one of them! Not knowing anything about the source material, he was immensely lost. A little bit later, Dudi bit the bullet and decided today was the day he would finally read Homestuck. He booted up The Unofficial Homestuck Collection, the apparent best way to read Homestuck according to his friends, and went to page one. He did not even get past Act 1.
Now let's get back to the present. No, not today, back to the 9th of October 2023. This time, after hearing about this elusive sequel to one of the most reverred webcomics of all time, Dudi begins feeling a heavy dose of curiosity. Just what made people love Homestuck so much? What was so good about it? How does a story involving a bunch of nerds end up at 8,130 pages? And how, even with that ginormous number, people were still wanting more?
Dudi continued his day, with the webcomic at the back of his mind. His curiosity was getting to the better of him. So he redownloaded his copy of the Unofficial Homestuck Collection, and tried once again to read Homestuck.
This time, he didn't stop at Act 1.
Okay, now let's get out of the past. It's our present, and I'm no longer speaking in third person (Hi, it's me, Dudi).
I'm struggling where to even begin here. Naturally I have a lot to say about a comic with over 8000 pages. There's about a million different places I can start with my Homestuck review. I could talk about the characters? The general plot? I could review each Act respectively? But honestly, writing this right now, I think I should just chillax and talk about the Stuck.
Homestuck begins in a room with a nerd with it. I don't know why this happens. But it always happens with these things. These god damn webcomics. They always start out in the simplest of places. It's a devilish trick. Read the first act of Homestuck and you'd think the plot is going to be simple and somewhat mundane. Let me tell you that the story of Homestuck is anything but simple and somewbat mundane. Act 1 is a trick. It tricks you into thinking you might actually understand whats going on in the story. You will not understand what is going on in the story. The plot very quickly goes off the rails and into a pocket dimension filled with weird frog people, angsty grey aliens and even Guy Fieri. The actual plot is so difficult to follow and so hard to explain that you'd think I'm crazy. There are so many variables to this plot that I couldn't even begin talking about. It is probably the most complicated and out-of-this-world storyline that I've ever read.
"You don't understand. He don't give a damn." - 12 oz. Mouse intro
You know what? Why do I even have to explain the plot. There's gonna be people reading this who have never read Homestuck, why the hell would I ruin it for them? Hey, the more people who get the brains rotting, the better. So I'm not even gonne tell you ANYTHING. Not an ounce. Okay, I might have spoiled Guy Fieri but that's as far as I go. So how about instead, we talk about....
So, the characters. They're probably one of the most memorable parts of the comic. You've seen atleast one of the trolls. I bet. I see it in your eyes. You know what the trolls look like, don't lie about it. And I'll even bet good money that you know who John Egbert is. Maybe you've even heard some of their names loosely in internet discourse. That was atleast the extent to my knowledge on Homestuck's cast. I knew who John was, what the trolls were, but that was about it. But I also had a mental watchlist for names I was likely going to recognize - Aside from Egbert, I had heard of a "Dave," a "Vriska," and a "Karkat." But those names didn't really mean much to me. All I knew was that they were in it. And now that I've read the comic and those names actually mean something, I can happily say that Homestuck probably has one of the most likeable cast of characters that I've ever seen.
I was aware of the comic's large cast of characters before going in - I had heard it had a ton of characters. And that kind of scared me. Because what if the comic focuses on one character that I really didn't like? Or what if John Egbert gets completely pushed by the wayside for some brand new protagonist that I didn't know? Luckily, that never happened. Sure, the comic does take breaks from John's antics, but he's still the main protagonist throughout. It's a massive accomplishment that the comic has so many characters and I didn't actively dislike any of them. All of them had their own little quirks and I loved all of them. Wayward Vagabond is such a little guy, he's so awesome. All the trolls were cool, even though some got pushed by the wayside, found it a bit disappointing that Nepeta kinda gets shafted for so much of the comic cos of Events™. It's funny how Vriska's technically a hero but no one wants to be around her cos she's so much of a bully. Also a shoutout to the omniscient white text Orb Man who shows up very briefly, who isn't in the comic for too long due to more Events™.
My favourite character? Caliborn. He is such a fucking bastard.
Homestuck's visual style is unique. Very unique. It takes crusty pixelly MS-Paint looking graphics and combines it with MULTIMEDIA HELL. It'll use photos of buildings, movie clips, it'll completely change its artstyle at multiple occasions - Much like the mundane beginning of the story, Homestuck's seemingly amateurish style is a trick. It might look simple as hell, but it's not always like that. Sometimes the characters just look like little blobs, other times they've got immensely human proportions. The art direction of Homestuck can go anywhere, but it always feels cohesive in a weird way.
That's probably how I could describe Homestuck in general. Looks complelely unorthodox, but it just all comes together naturally. I don't know how Hussie did it. Maybe it was just an accident. Whoops, I just created an 8000 page comic, Whoopsies! Happens to the best of us, I know. Anyway, I love how Homestuck looks. I've always been a sucker for cartoony pixelart, and the comic uses videogame iconography extremely well.
Okay, enough beating around the bush. Let's talk about the REAL SHIT.
This is why The Unofficial Homestuck Collection is now the best way to read Homestuck. After Flash died, it left all the Flash games and videos completely obselete, delegated to mere YouTube videos on the main website. The UHC restores all of the flash content in all its glory, and Jesus Christ, is it Awesome.
The comic uses Flash well. Very well. It has these little videos made in Flash and they're all immensely well-animated and fun to watch. And there's even little Flash games you can play, like playing the flute, or even a little Earthbound game. It's fun! It's always a treat when you see an [S] on the next action (you'll understand what I mean if you read the comic, you LAZY BUM,) it just activates my neurons. It's like a sign that the comics about to do some WILD SHIT. Sometimes it'll make the screen bigger, sometimes the whole page will just go absolutely nuts. I'm not gonna spoil all the incredibly neat stuff Homestuck uses with Flash, because it's honestly one of the coolest parts of the comic. It can just do ANYTHING with flash. ANYTHING.
"Oh no, this is the part where he talks about Toby Fox!" - Donkey, who's still alive even after getting shot
"Hello, this is the part where I talk about Toby Fox!" - Me, ready to make Donkey suffer
Homestuck has a lot of songs. And I mean a LOT. The comic has so many composers it fits into MULTIPLE ALBUMS. That's how musically rich this adventure is. But oh man, is the music GOOD. It's incredibly diverse, from atmospheric pieces to hard rock and ELEVATOR MUSIC, there are so many fun songs. But, like everything else, it's still all so consistent. There's a good amount of leitmotifs, I liked how the comic used that cool lil guitar to represent Vriska. It was a cool thing, surprised they didn't do it with other characters.
The music is commonly used to accompany and compliment the Flash animations, they're basically music videos with a plot. That might sound limiting, but it just makes it infinitely cooler and more fun. Top notch tunes, mate.
Megalovania.
So now I've talked about pretty much all of Homestuck's aspects. But we're not done yet. You see, I'm scatterbrained. This is the part where we get rid of all structure, and just fucking RAMBLE. Okay so like, what the hell do I talk about now? Uhh, did I miss anything? Oh, yeah, The Unofficial Homestuck Collection has a bunch of extras. It's got like QnA's even the rock opera. I was thinking about jumpscaring the reader with a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff review right smack in the middle but what the fuck do you really want me to say about bloody Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Uhh, fuck... Uh, Homestuck ^2? Right, that was the whole reason this all began. My friend says it's shit. Maybe I'll check it out one day. Out of morbid curiosity, much like Homestuck 1. Uh, aw shit, I think I've run out of things to say without getting into, ohh noo....
Unfortunately, this is where I have to put off the safety wheels. I'm gonna have to start getting into spoilers and actually talking about the plot. If you haven't read the comic, DO NOT HIGHLIGHT THIS SECTION AND JUST SKIP TO THE NEXT PART, WHICH IS THE CONCLUSION. Capiche? Alright.
Okay, this is the part where I talk about random parts of the plot. Okay, so like, if any big Homestuck fan is reading this, please DM me on discord about this, my @ is @dudithebudi and I'd like an answer to this - So what was up with that Parent Paradox thing? You know, how Rose is Roxy's mom and Roxy is Rose's mom, that junk. The hell was up with that? Cos I didn't understand that at all. If you could explain that to me, that'd be great. Anyway I said before that Vriska's technically a hero but no one wants to be around here, and I'll specifically explain what part I'm talking about: So basically, Vriska's fucked up ghost self (long story) is leading a pirate crew with other trolls and also briefly John (also long story) and there's just this really funny bit where they're nearing the treasure they've been looking for and they're just kinda talking n' shit and Tavros (who Vriska's been the meanest to for what I perceive as no reason) decides "yknow what, fuck it, im outta here" and leaves the crew by floating outta there like the fucking Lorax, and it's so funny cos then literally EVERYONE ELSE leaves. No one wants to be around Vriska and it's hilarious. The only person who's still on the crew afterwards is Egbert cos he's a pure soul and also the only person who Vriska's ever been nice to, and even he says no when Vriska asks him to bring her back to life. It's hilarious. Anyway, enough of that, what other wacky things happen? Oh, this is tha part where I talk about COLLIDE, isn't it> Oh yeah, that was fucking awesome. Eighteen minute video of the final battle. All the characters have their own little moment, even the fucking DAD gets to kick ass. It's one of the coolest climaxes to any story I've ever seen. Lord English has such a cool design that it's kind of a shame that he's so much of a looming presence for so long, but I get it, you gotta hype him up, and they do a good job at making him a threat. Oh yeah, and Act 7 is completely hand-drawn, jaw fucking DROPPED when I saw that. What a fucking COOL ending dude, holy shit. It's so awesome. The credits was cute, too, nice way to wrap up all the characters. Anyway I think that's pretty much everything I wanted to say spoiler-wise. Let's get to the conclusion, shall we?
So, that's pretty much everything I wanted to say regarding Homestuck. It's crazy to think I read all of that shit in under a month, jesus - finished the comic on the 5th of november. Don't rush it like I did, folks.
It's weird that I finished it so quickly, though. Despite the fact that the comic had been part of my life for such a short time, I still felt incredibly teary-eyed when I got to the final page. Like aww man, awww MAN, I loved this comic. Everything about it just worked so WELL, it's a bloody miracle that this comic is in the state that it's in. It's truly deserving of its status. I feel like a different man after reading this thing.
It's a hard sell. I'm not gonna pretend it isn't. It's 8130 pages, and the best way to read it is a four gigabyte file. But if you ever get into it, it truly is an amazing experience. It's obviously not everyone's thing, it's a lot of reading, and I mean A LOT. But for the people whom it is their thing, it's wondeful. I thoroughly LOVED my time with Homestuck and I'm gonna be thinking about it for a very long time. Let that parasitic John Egbert eating my brain consume me whole, dammit. I loved this webcomic and you might, too. Bloody amazing.
(punches donkey in the face and he goes "Ow!" then dies and goes to heaven)
all discord screenshots come from my friend server where i documented my slow descent into the stuck.